Marmaduke Can Vote: If Marmaduke Went Political...

Picket on the Ticket

2007-11-12T12:28:00.001-05:00

Equal Time

2007-11-06T16:58:00.001-05:00

As mandated by the Equal Time laws, I, the creator of this blog, have no choice but to run this attack ad created by one of Marmaduke's competitors:

Marmaduke Gets Gravel'd

2007-10-31T19:32:00.000-04:00

PRESS RELEASE

2007-10-29T15:09:00.000-04:00

FOR IMMEDIATE PUBLICATION:

Marmaduke and his campaign would like to take this opportunity to strongly condemn FEMA for using its own staffers as "reporters" in order to hold a fake press conference. This is a clear example of misleading the American people and, as President, Marmaduke would never be so deceitful.

On an unrelated note, we would like to thank Ms. Debbi Weiner for her insightful question last week. We encourage others to submit questions for future Marmaduke press conferences, whether you are a close friend or relative of the author or otherwise.

Keeping Tabs

2007-10-29T12:29:00.001-04:00

Press Conference #2

2007-10-25T12:11:00.000-04:00

Our next question comes from Debbi Weiner of the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Congratulations, Marmaduke! We are looking forward to hearing about your stance on the issues as we are looking for a candidate to believe in.
My question is in regard to your stance on universal veterinary medicine. Sure, the rich owners take their pets to University of Pennsylvania for fancy procedures and care. How about the common dog and cat who can't afford this treatment. What are we supposed to do?

Marmaduke: Thank you very much for this insightful question, Debbi. I am more than happy to address this question, which is sure to be a major issue this election season and I’ll even ignore the fact that you ended your initial compliment with a preposition.

I have heard many candidates from both sides of the political aisle discussing the issue of healthcare, yet not one of them have even addressed the serious issues facing the poor, uninsured animals who live in this great nation.

In the last few weeks, as I have been traveling the funny pages of many of our nation’s finest newspapers I have met several animals who, despite being some of the most prominent pets in the country, are continually denied coverage by their insurance companies. You know, just last week while I was visiting the Des Moines Register in Iowa, I met a nice young beagle named Snoopy, a brave airman of the First World War who heroically fought the Red Baron, yet under the current administration he has been all but ignored by the Veterinary Affairs Department.

This is why, today, I am here to roll out a comprehensive universal veterinary medicine program. Other politicians have offered their own versions of this plan, but if you read the fine print they are only interested in protecting the interests of domesticated animals with rich owners. Under my plan, ALL animals will be covered. The Marmaduke Administration will provide veterinary healthcare for every animal – from the stray mutt on a city sidewalk to the great elephants of the Serengeti. Mark these words – no one will be turned away.

With this bold new initiative, I plan to do away with the Endangered Species List by the end of my first term!

Now many of my critics ask me, “Marmaduke, how do you plan on paying for such an expensive proposal? It sounds like this plan would cost the taxpayer millions.” Well, you know, I get that question a lot and the answer is simple. I would pay for this the same way I plan to pay for all of my initiatives: charge it to my master’s credit card. I have used this method to pay for many things over the years: taxi rides, pizza deliveries, and now universal veterinary health care. Through this payment method, I will be able to lower taxes every year of my Administration.

When you vote this primary season, remember which candidate is promising you better veterinary health care for the needy animals out there. Because war heroes such as Snoopy deserve to be treated with the same respect as their non-fictional, non-animal counterparts. So please, think of the Veterins!

If you have a question for Marmaduke's next press conference, feel free to submit it via the comments below.

The "Real" Conservative

2007-10-20T13:05:00.001-04:00

Get your questions in. Marmaduke's second press conference will be held this Monday.

Now Accepting PayPal

2007-10-18T03:31:00.000-04:00

Remember to submit your questions for Marmaduke's next press conference.

Press Conference #1

2007-10-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

Marmaduke will now answer a question provided by the readership of Marmaduke Can Vote. If you would like Marmaduke to answer your question regarding his bid for the Oval Office, please submit your question in the comments section of this blog.

Our first question comes from reader Quintius of the Washington Post:
How do you plan to address your obvious difficulties with the cat vote?

Marmaduke: You know, it’s easy to throw around questions like this at a time when we face a lot of firsts: the first woman, the first African-American, the first Hispanic, the first Mormon, and the first 9/11 to be serious candidates for the Presidency.

Like all of these other candidates, I am not running as the dog candidate. This candidacy is not about our differences. It is about that which unites us. I am not running for president as a cheap gimmick to revive a struggling weblog. No, this is about much more than that.

I believe I am the most qualified candidate in this election to represent not only dogs, but ALL pets. How many of us have sat outside our master’s door waiting hours to go for a walk, only to be told they were too tired? How many of us have had to put up with the same disgusting store brand food overhearing comments like “They can’t tell the difference!”? Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to put aside our partisan differences – canine and feline – and unite as one.

I believe my record speaks for itself. I have made a career out of standing up for our rights against a nation ruled by animal owners. When they told me to stay at home, I was the one who hijacked a taxi and toured the city! When they told me I should be content with Kibbles & Bits, I called every pizza delivery in the town and ordered a dozen pies on my master’s credit card! It is time for a change and I am the candidate who can deliver on that promise!

What was the question again?

HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT!

2007-10-14T01:03:00.000-04:00

That's right. Marmaduke is officially running for President Of The United States Of America!!

There will be a press conference on Monday on this site. So please submit your questions in the comments now and Marmaduke will answer.

Plea For Attention

2007-10-12T02:47:00.000-04:00

Check back very soon for a big announcement from the Marmaduke "Testing-The-Waters" Committee.

Goin' Denmark

2007-10-09T03:48:00.001-04:00

Thanks!

2007-10-05T04:52:00.001-04:00

Thanks for the comments! Here's another one (the same premise as yesterday's strip, just the way Brad Anderson would like it).

DOES ANYONE READ THIS???

2007-10-04T04:52:00.001-04:00

I haven't been updating this blog for the following reasons:
1) I am trying to get a job
2) I get the same number of hits whether I post strips or not

If anyone reads this blog, please post a comment or something.

My Own Private Idaho

2007-08-30T18:07:00.000-04:00

Should've Used Craigslist

2007-08-28T14:31:00.001-04:00

Testing the Waters

2007-08-24T20:14:00.000-04:00

As hinted at previously, Marmaduke has a BIG announcement to make regarding the 2008 election but he is waiting for Fred Thompson to make his announcement first out of courtesy. Stay tuned...

[Back To Work]

2007-08-21T02:19:00.000-04:00

If This Doesn't Kill Him, Old Age Will...

2007-08-17T14:59:00.001-04:00

Goodbye, Good Riddance!

2007-08-14T15:27:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Brad!

2007-08-11T06:57:00.000-04:00

One of the reasons I decided to come back was just last week when I was OFFICIALLY GIVEN A SHOUT OUT BY BRAD ANDERSON!!!!!!

I was going to write something where Marmaduke weighed in on today's Ames Straw Poll when I saw this strip from last Tuesday...

Brad Anderson was so eager to read new editions of Marmaduke Can Vote he personally submitted his own edition in light of the forthcoming showdown in the Midwest. Well, Mr. Anderson, I accept! Thanks for saving me a day's work.

West Coast Post!

2007-08-10T18:32:00.000-04:00

Aaaaand, we're back! Sorry for the hiatus, but in the time since my last post I drove across the country, arrived in Los Angeles, searched high and low for an apartment, moved into the apartment, conducted an industry-wide job search, and found a short term gig paying well enough for me to comfortably continue this blog.

More updates to come! Tell everyone!!!!!!

The State of MCV

2007-07-12T02:10:00.000-04:00

Very sorry for the incommunicado stunt I've been pulling lately. Over the last couple of months, I graduated from college and moved back to my parents' home in Richboro, PA. Tomorrow morning I am leaving here and heading west to sunny Los Angeles, California, to start my career in the film biz. So it's gonna be a little while before I am settled and can start thinking about this website again. Plus, to be honest, there's only so many Marmaduke-as-terrorist and Marmaduke-as-Bush-supporter jokes you can do before it gets boring. Hopefully after this brief hiatus (and I promise I will actually return), the 08 Election will get a little more heated and the humor will become fresh again.
Thanks for the support. You should expect new posts to start again in about a month.
-Jon

Mr. Winslow's Veto

2007-06-15T11:46:00.001-04:00

Ten-Foot Poll

2007-06-11T11:57:00.000-04:00

Paw & Order

2007-06-07T01:56:00.000-04:00

$400 Collar

2007-06-04T03:14:00.001-04:00

First Canine President

2007-05-22T02:14:00.001-04:00

Alright, I'm all graduated now. No more excuses. Look for future developments relating to today's story arc in weeks to come...

Try Zogby's

2007-05-15T02:20:00.000-04:00

Bring Out The Photogenic Chairs!

2007-05-11T02:13:00.000-04:00

Come on! Look at that set! It's identical!!

Served

2007-05-09T03:19:00.000-04:00

It's been an incredibly busy last few weeks as I've been concentrating on finishing college. I have a couple more projects to work on this week before I can say I've completed my seventeen-year run of going to school. Expect the standard 3-strips-a-week to resume shortly.

Shed A Tier

2007-05-03T22:59:00.001-04:00

The Darkest Horse

2007-04-30T01:07:00.000-04:00

Bush Scandal #2945

2007-04-25T10:37:00.000-04:00

With Respect

2007-04-18T19:59:00.000-04:00

With sincere sympathy to the victims of both tragedies...

Hil-Dog

2007-04-16T01:24:00.000-04:00

The Line-Up

2007-04-10T10:30:00.000-04:00

Best Mug Since DeLay's

2007-04-06T11:59:00.000-04:00

Backseat Presidency

2007-04-03T10:14:00.000-04:00

Totally Insenstive

2007-03-30T02:03:00.000-04:00

In Which Marmaduke Emboldens The Enemy

2007-03-26T02:59:00.000-04:00

"Loyal Marmies"

2007-03-23T20:35:00.000-04:00

Snow (Other Than Tony)

2007-03-21T02:16:00.000-04:00

Twofer

2007-03-19T01:18:00.000-04:00

Hey, I hope you all had a restful week off. Since I've been gone for a while, here are two strips to satiate you....

The Full Story

2007-03-09T02:35:00.000-05:00

Today's caption was written with help from Brad Anderson. Hopefully you can recognize which part was his by either his trademark font or his trademark lack of punchline.

And that'll do it for a week or so. I'm heading out on retreat to a place with no Internet. SPRING BREAK!!!! I'll be back to fulfill your needs on March 19. Enjoy the time off. Just think of it as a few less Marmaduke strips you'll have to look at.

Support The Poops

2007-03-07T15:11:00.000-05:00

Meta-Marmaduke

2007-03-05T11:44:00.000-05:00

Razor Sharpton

2007-03-02T02:06:00.000-05:00

Collector's Bite-'Em

2007-03-01T08:45:00.000-05:00

An Inconvenient Pet

2007-02-26T11:21:00.000-05:00

Congrats, Al (and Marty)!

We Have A Winner!!

2007-02-23T02:32:00.000-05:00

And the winner to the one year anniversary Submit Your Own Caption Sweepstakes is....

ME! Jon Katz! The creator of Marmaduke Can Vote! On this one year celebration what better way to celebrate the history of the strip than by proclaiming myself the winner of my own contest. Blogger, if you please...

Cheap to proclaim myself the winner, you say? Why couldn't you think of anything better than a six-month-old Mark Foley reference? Sorry, Blogosphere, I am the longest-running Marmaduke humorist on the web. Now, can I finally get a link on Joe Mathlete's site?!

Thanks to Bill and Pete for filling in, Jay Cridlin for the article, and you for checking back every now and then. Always feel free to send me an email or comment if you love or hate this site!

Spare Some Change For The Poor Moderate?

2007-02-21T12:20:00.000-05:00

Abstract Art

2007-02-19T02:14:00.000-05:00

After fifty three years of drawing Marmaduke strips, Brad Anderson couldn't figure out how to fit one of his classic "boy hides behind dog" strips into just one panel...

I know comments like that may be venturing into Joe Mathlete territory, but I've got to keep that guy on his toes...

Anniversary Contest Reminder

2007-02-18T21:02:00.000-05:00

This Friday marks the one year anniversary of Marmaduke Can Vote. As part of the celebration, I will be announcing the winner of the Marmaduke Can Vote Submit Your Own Caption Sweepstakes. To submit your winning caption, take a look at the original source picture and accompanying rules RIGHT HERE. Then you can either email me, IM me, or post a comment with your caption. You have until Friday at noon to submit your entry. Get movin'!!

Evidence That Brad Anderson Draws Images Specifically For This Blog #337

2007-02-15T00:24:00.000-05:00

Chasing The Guy Who's Chasing The Polls

2007-02-12T11:54:00.000-05:00

Hollow Posturing

2007-02-08T08:38:00.000-05:00

A Bone of Contention

2007-02-05T20:28:00.000-05:00

Biden' Time

2007-02-01T01:55:00.000-05:00

Biden announced he was running for president this morning and a few hours later, this story broke. Ladies and gentlemen, the shortest campaign for president of all time.

Success!!!(or)

2007-01-30T10:15:00.000-05:00

State of the Neighborhood

2007-01-24T12:07:00.000-05:00

HMOwn3d!!!

2007-01-22T01:37:00.000-05:00

Bored Like Wood

2007-01-20T11:57:00.000-05:00

OMG Like Sorry!!!

2007-01-19T19:05:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone, sorry for the hiatus but I moved back to Ithaca to finish out the whole college thing and I unexpectedly ran into a lack of internet. Starting tomorrow, fresh posts on a regular basis...

Double Dip

2007-01-10T16:06:00.000-05:00

My apologies, but Blogger has been down for the last couple of days. Here are two strips to make up for it.

Chart Comparison

2007-01-08T02:16:00.000-05:00

So as Pete mentioned while he was guest posting here, he, Bill, and I will be starting up a new blog very soon. Stay tuned for an official announcement.

In the meantime, I found these two charts that I found very disturbing.

First, here is a bar graph showing off the - ahem, progress Bush has made in the War on Terrorism:

And here is a graph which charts traffic to THIS SITE, Marmaduke Can Vote.

Kinda similar... I'm hoping that means that when my hits start declining in 2007, it will bring down casualties in the war.

Warming Up Her Chair

2007-01-04T03:34:00.000-05:00

Finally, Some Accountability...

2007-01-02T21:49:00.000-05:00

I just returned from Israel a few moments ago and I haven't really slept since 2006, so I'm going to get to that. I hope you all had a good new year and thanks to Pete for filling in over the last couple weeks.

Where patriotism meets voyeurism

2006-12-28T20:13:00.000-05:00

Dog and Crony Show

2006-12-24T17:25:00.000-05:00

It's good to be back blogging in place for Jon. This shall be an interesting warm up to the publishing of a collaborative blog between Jon, myself, and fellow MCV contributor Bill Benz, which is not far from launch. I hope I can once again manage to maintain the level of integrity and biting political commentary that litters the pages of MCV on a regular basis.

Housekeeping

2006-12-22T11:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I would have liked to do another update this week but it's been busy with packing and the holidays, etc. I am headed to Israel for my cousin's Bar Mitzvah right now with my family.

In the meantime, MCV friend Peter Shadzik will be keeping up this blog. Expect some sharp, witty commentary on the current political scene and how it relates to Marmaduke interfering with his family's Christmas plans (the topic of the last two weeks of the real Marmaduke strips if you haven't noticed).

And don't forget about that contest I announced a few weeks ago. Entries have been coming in already, but it isn't too late. A winner will be announced in January. Who can come up with the best political caption for the strip below:

Have a great holiday season and a happy new year. I'll see you all in 2007, just in time for Marmaduke to decide whether or not he's entering the presidential race...

Pound for Pound

2006-12-19T13:05:00.000-05:00

Grim Tim

2006-12-18T12:32:00.000-05:00

THANK YOU!!

2006-12-17T21:01:00.000-05:00

I just received word that in a field of contenders such as James Baker, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Kim Jong Il, Time Magazine chose me as its Person Of The Year!

Time journalist Lev Grossman writes:

For seizing the reins of the global media, for founding and framing the new digital democracy, for working for nothing and beating the pros at their own game, Time's Person of the Year for 2006 is you.

Couldn't have said it better myself, Lev. Yes, with this blog I have in fact beaten the pros at their own game. I'd like to thank my many readers, my girlfriend Anjuli, all of those who have supported me over the years, my manager, and my agent.

Expect regular postings again all this week and thank you, Bill, for filling in while I was gone.

Displays of Disaffection

2006-12-15T18:31:00.000-05:00

This is a special holiday post by fellow blogger Sean Eisenhauer.

Reckless Spending

2006-12-15T18:21:00.000-05:00

It's Chile In December

2006-12-10T20:28:00.000-05:00

Uncivil

2006-12-08T23:25:00.000-05:00

Hey kids, especially newcomers linked from Joe Mathlete. I'm Bill, I'm not the founder of this site. Jon, the man responsible for all this is currently heading across our glorious nation (America) seeing the sites. His last checkpoint was the Grand Canyon.

I'll be guest blogging here for as long as he's gone. Enjoy!

CONTEST!!!!!! + News

2006-12-06T07:34:00.000-05:00

Some news about the forthcoming weeks...

I am leaving Hollywood today for home (Richboro, PA). My roommates and I are taking the Southern route. Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Santa Fe, Mentone TX, San Antonio, New Orleans, Memphis, Nashville, Greensboro NC, Washington DC along the way.

I'll be back in Richboro on December 17th. Until that time, our old friend Bill Benz will be blogging. Check out his blog Heads On Sticks & Ventriloquists.

A week or so after that, I'll be heading to Israel for my cousin's Bar Mitzvah. We'll have another guest blogger while I'm gone then. Who will it be? Patience...

I will be back here and blogging on a regular basis again around January 3rd. But in order to drum up enthusiasm while I'm gone, I am now announcing the very first Marmaduke Can Vote Submit Your Own Caption Sweepstakes !!!!!!

Here is the picture to work with:

Anyone who reads this blog is eligible whether you have guest posted here in the past or not. Just submit your politically-themed caption in the comments here, email it to me, or whatever you gotta do. Just don't be anonymous so you can, you know, win...

Thanks everyone. Have a happy Hanukkah and I'll be back in on December 18th. Don't forget to submit something to my contest. Otherwise I'm gonna look really dumb.

Enjoy the music of William Benz in the meantime...

...Exploratory Committee Has Been Formed...

2006-12-04T03:50:00.000-05:00

The Feared Beard

2006-12-01T17:54:00.000-05:00

The War On Semantics

2006-11-30T04:59:00.000-05:00

Your Co-Pay is Three Cents

2006-11-27T13:32:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving Break

2006-11-26T23:38:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. I've been home with the family celebrating this joyous holiday of cranberry sauce and Native American slaughter.

I'll pick back up this week. In the meantime, here's a video made in 2001 when I was just sixteen years old. My friends and I had our own TV show and we made hundreds of short videos. In this clip, "Ho Hunting," I went to the mall in search of a lady friend.

The Real Caller

2006-11-21T12:58:00.000-05:00

Marmaduke's Pentagon Report Primer

2006-11-20T04:50:00.000-05:00

Sorry, but you're going to have to click on the FULL COLOR MULTI-PANEL STRIP to read today's post.

The Washington Post:

The Pentagon's closely guarded review of how to improve the situation in Iraq has outlined three basic options: Send in more troops, shrink the force but stay longer, or pull out, according to senior defense officials. Insiders have dubbed the options "Go Big," "Go Long" and "Go Home."

The "fresh eyes" replacing Rumsfeld came up with three terms so simple a dog can understand them. Democrats, your move.

Meat The Press

2006-11-18T22:55:00.000-05:00

Drool and Unusual

2006-11-17T03:22:00.001-05:00

Oh, and I'm back with the titular dog puns!!!!

BREAKING!!

2006-11-15T05:18:00.000-05:00

...And Donald Takes The Fall

2006-11-14T01:39:00.000-05:00

Snazzy new Palatino font for the captions in honor of the new election season which has somehow already begun.

I Saw The Sign

2006-11-10T13:18:00.000-05:00

This time, I changed the text which appears on the image and left the caption the same.
So instead of a joke about salespeople, the strip turns into a commentary on Bush's apparent strides to reach across the aisle over the last few days.
Or maybe it is questioning the intentions of the American Voter. Are they really interested in a new Democratic leadership or were they merely reacting to scandal and corruption?

You know, maybe we should all put aside our partisan differences after this election and join together to answer the real questions facing our nation. Like how does Marmaduke paint signs in English and then attach them to the front door? If we truly want to engage in a War on Terror, isn't it time the President brought the hammer down on Marmaduke's pranks which have wreaked havoc over the entire town of... wait, where does Marmaduke live? I guess we don't really know.
Unknown whereabouts just like al-Qaeda... Oh, you're good, Maramduke. You're good.

Highlight of the Election

2006-11-08T04:23:00.000-05:00

Rick Santorum's concession speech.

Flunking the Midterms

2006-11-08T02:59:00.000-05:00

The democratic process works! America!! Woooooo!!!! Spring break!

Marmaduke CAN'T Vote!

2006-11-07T03:11:00.000-05:00

Happy Voting!!!

-Jon

Corruption Interruption

2006-11-06T03:51:00.000-05:00

Blank Page

2006-11-01T04:21:00.000-05:00

Quadrupedal Animal vs. Bicameral Legislature

2006-10-31T00:57:00.000-05:00

"I Wouldn't Vote For Him If He Were Running For Dog Catcher!"

2006-10-30T01:44:00.000-05:00

What kind of dog catcher was trying to catch Marmaduke using a net this small? Isn't that like a butterfly net or something? Come on, let's get realistic. Marmaduke is a fucking Great Dane. Not to mention that in previous Marmaduke comics it has been established that all dog catchers are extremely afraid of Marmaduke because they know he has on at least two occasions in the last few months tricked them into climbing into the back of their own truck, when Marmaduke then drives the truck to the destination of his choosing. So you'd think if they saw Marmaduke walking down the street, possibly ordering a pizza or something, they would call for backup rather than try to catch him with a net that barely fits over his head. With authorities like these, it's no wonder Marmaduke is so easily able to do as he pleases.

Halloween Feature

2006-10-28T00:11:00.000-04:00

I was checking out the new video sharing Facebook feature and someone sent me this new viral video from the internet. This idiot singing "Mambo #5" by Lou Bega. What a putz! I don't know who this guy thinks he is trying to cover the great Bega, but I wouldn't read his political Marmaduke blog even if it was plugged by two newspapers in Florida!!!!!!1

Gitmo II

2006-10-27T20:23:00.000-04:00

If you've enjoyed the fact that I haven't posted the last few days and thought that perhaps the strip was finally over, I am sorry to report that a friend of mine was visiting this week and now I will be back to normal business hours. Hope that news doesn't ruin anyone's weekend.