Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Press Conference #1

Marmaduke will now answer a question provided by the readership of Marmaduke Can Vote. If you would like Marmaduke to answer your question regarding his bid for the Oval Office, please submit your question in the comments section of this blog.

Our first question comes from reader Quintius of the Washington Post:
How do you plan to address your obvious difficulties with the cat vote?

Marmaduke: You know, it’s easy to throw around questions like this at a time when we face a lot of firsts: the first woman, the first African-American, the first Hispanic, the first Mormon, and the first 9/11 to be serious candidates for the Presidency.

Like all of these other candidates, I am not running as the dog candidate. This candidacy is not about our differences. It is about that which unites us. I am not running for president as a cheap gimmick to revive a struggling weblog. No, this is about much more than that.

I believe I am the most qualified candidate in this election to represent not only dogs, but ALL pets. How many of us have sat outside our master’s door waiting hours to go for a walk, only to be told they were too tired? How many of us have had to put up with the same disgusting store brand food overhearing comments like “They can’t tell the difference!”? Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to put aside our partisan differences – canine and feline – and unite as one.

I believe my record speaks for itself. I have made a career out of standing up for our rights against a nation ruled by animal owners. When they told me to stay at home, I was the one who hijacked a taxi and toured the city! When they told me I should be content with Kibbles & Bits, I called every pizza delivery in the town and ordered a dozen pies on my master’s credit card! It is time for a change and I am the candidate who can deliver on that promise!

What was the question again?


At 8:14 AM, Blogger debbi said...

Congratulations Marmaduke! We are looking forward to hearing about your stance on the issues as we are looking for a candidate to believe in.
My first question is in regard to your stance on universal veterinary medicine. Sure, the rich owners take their pets to University of Pennsylvania for fancy procedures and care. How about the common dog and cat who can't afford this treatment. What are we supposed to do?
Along those lines though, what are your thoughts on mandatory neutoring and spaying. Some pets do not appreciate the freedom their owners have to make this choice. They are taking away our rights to have offspring and we are not happy about this. Pets should have a say in this too! Where do you stand?


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